Inspiration and moods


I love inspiration. I always…, just a second, before I proceed I would like to highlight a relevant fact– though it won’t seem as such just now. Most of my friends consider me to be moody… I think. This comes from how they talk about me. They don’t use the word moody but their comments amount to the same thing. I have been asked on multiple occasions how it is that I can be “as cheerful as a body could be” on one day and then “gloomy and sad” on the next. I have also been told that my ever changing moods leave them (my friends) confused and they never know what to expect from me on any given day. They don’t know whether to expect “happy Colstar” or “sad Colstar”, “talkative Colstar” or “silent Colstar”. They say the cheerful Colstar is tolerable enough and they wouldn’t mind having him more regularly but that if I do not wish to drop the sad the Colstar, I should keep him in constant rotation because they are not too big on variety when it comes to a persons moods.

I think variety is a good thing. I wouldn’t want to experience extreme happiness every single day, I would grow numb to it. We all know that “joy wouldn’t feel so good if it wasn’t for pain” as 50 Cent once said in one of his songs (Many men). And also, there is a simple answer as to why my mood is always changing . That answer is inspiration. Now, I forgive the reader for wondering what in the devils name inspiration has to with moods…hmm let me explain. On days that I am cheerful it is because I feel inspired. When I feel inspired my mind suddenly starts to cook up ideas from left, right and centre and I have this huge urge to engage my senses; touch something (or if possible someone, a girl), see something, hear, taste, I want to work in all the senses, going mostly by instinct – thus not thinking too much. On such days I am “about whatever” as the rapper Drake would put it. But as soon as inspiration goes I feel as empty as an adult film star who has just been… wait that analogy won’t fly. Hmm… I feel like I have gone blind because the splendour of the world is not visible to me any more. That’s what the matter my friends! Anyone would “sad and gloomy” if they had a bright and beautiful world one day and the next it became dark. But that is why I love relationship inspiration. It’s never always in one place, sometimes you have it, and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you feel inspired to write about promises, other times your mind is blank and you shamelessly write about inspiration and moods instead. I will end here, I have wondered aimlessly farther than any man has any right to.


A bright future


Last Friday (night) I was at a snooker club with my uncle and his best friend.  At some point during the night my uncle’s best friend and I had a private conversation as follows:

Uncle’s best friend: Colstar Web, how old might you be?

Colstar Web (reluctantly): Hmm…21

Ubf: I judged so. And let me guess, you don’t smoke or drink beer or have a girlfriend. And I am damn sure you…

Cw (interrupts): Hold your horse’s right there sir, who says I don’t have a girlfriend?

Ubf: Well…, do you?

Cw:  I don’t have to answer that, that’s my business

Ubf (laughs, and then speaks as if to himself): Nerds get mighty irritated when asked about girls, indeed they do.

Cw: That may be so or… it may not be so, but what in the devils name is the matter with you. Who gives you the right to make such allegations?

Ubf (laughs): Calm down, calm down. I only touched on those points because you remind of your uncle 25 years ago.

Cw: I do, do I?

Ubf: More than you will ever know. At your age, you uncle did not smoke or drink beer or have a girlfriend just like you.

Cw: Why do you keep saying I don’t have a girlfriend? Seriously…

Ubf: Come, don’t be shy; it’s pretty obvious that you don’t. You are the perfect picture of a dude without a girlfriend, your whole being screams “single forever!”. Anyway, believe it or not your uncle was just like you at your age. Yes, just like you, perhaps a little nerdier than you. That was a couple of years before things dramatically changed, extremely late bloomers… you know.

At the age of 23 he graduated from college and shortly after that he got a job. A few weeks of working encouraged him to take up drinking, he claimed it was necessary to help him loosen up on the weekends and besides he could “afford it”. We were all, hmm…his friends I mean, very pleased to hear this. We had long being trying to get him drinking but with considerable failure.

At 25 he got a girl pregnant, partly thanks to his increased drinking and he quickly married her, hmm… family issues you know. A few years into his marriage he started smoking, claiming it helped him calm his nerves, he was so stressed. As years went by he adopted many more things he was not exactly fond of when he was younger and now he is the care free, beer gulping, smoke puffing dude you know today. Looking at you, I have a feeling your life might turn out to be a copy of his. Good thing is…you have got his experience to learn from, so should be fine.

Just then my uncle joined us at the table with some Carlsberg bottles in his hands. The conversation had to end then but it left me wondering. I wonder how people can tell if you have a girlfriend or not without being told so and without having any prior knowledge about you. Other than that I wonder how my life is going to be when I take up beer drinking and getting girls pregnant as activities for pass time. It will most definitely rock I reckon, but the only problem is…where do I begin?