This happened last week friday…
Having had a tiresome day at work, I elected to go out and have some Chinese food. I was of the idea that something out of the regular would do well in the way of taking away stress. My intention was to spoil myself with the best Chinese food around, well, hmm… the best my pockets could afford anyway. Not one to go around searching for the right spot to eat, I went straight to the closest Chinese restaurant to my office, named Zhong Chu’s Sea Food. Arriving there, I sat down and ordered for the “best meal Zhong Chu has to offer, enh… on the cheap side I mean”. Now, there is one a thing that should be appreciated at Chinese restaurants and that is the speed at which things are done there. In a little while my food was on the table and I was already served my bill.
Seeing as I had not checked the menu and I did not know what Zhong Chu’s best meal consisted of, the natural thing would have been to inquire upon that point, before starting to eat. Any normal person would have done so, but hmm… a genius like me wouldn’t. No sir, I genius like me would set straight upon the task of devouring the food; notwithstanding the fact the meat looked suspiciously unfamiliar. Oh, I forgot to mention, I was served Kong Po Tian Gi and fried rice. To me the meat was either beef or chicken, I was sure of it. I will not go into detail on how the food tasted, the reader should try out Kong Po Tian Gi and find out.
So… where was I? Hmm… I enjoyed my meal well enough and to show off my poor Chinese skills I called the restaurant attendant to inquire on how much the food was, this despite the fact that the bill was already on my table. I asked the attendant, confidently, “duo shao qian?” (how much?). He looked at me, surprised, I looked at him, beaming, and then he responded “check the bill, I gave it to you a long time ago” He answered in what I would say was good enough English, but then, my English is poor enough to grant mutilated grammar and abused vocabulary excellent lingua points, so I berg the reader to forgive my judgment. Of course the quality of his English has nothing to do with the main focus of this story, so I will get back on my course. A few seconds passed after he answered and he saw the indifference on my face and just told me the price. He said the fried rice was half of the price and the frogs the remaining half. I responded sharply, kind of startled like “why…enh, what are you talking about young man, I didn’t have any frogs, I had fried rice and chicken, the best meal on the cheap side, I reckon you already know anyway, why… fried and chicken!”
He responded “well you asked for our best meal, on the cheap side, and we served you Kong Po Tian Gi. That’s our best meal on the cheap side; on the expensive side we have Zhong Chu Poon Choi. I assumed you knew what you were doing, what with all the confidence that you had going, ordering food and making yourself comfortable…but I see the foolishness in my assumption now. Anyway you had frogs, no doubt about that, I hope you enjoyed them too because the chef paid considerable attention to his work to cook you up the biggest, juiciest frogs. Please settle your bill, good sir, I have to go and save some other customers”
Upon hearing this calm explanation, I tried to throw up and render myself frog free, but it couldn’t answer. With nothing else left to do, I paid my bill and left the restaurant, feeling absurd