False alarm


I have a friend who is obsessed with screaming “oh my God!” at any little thing that happens. When he sees a cute girl he screams “oh my God”, when he sees a bad looking one “oh my God”, when answering his phone “oh my God” and when hanging up his phone “oh my God”. Not a single incidence goes without him signing it off with “oh my God”

On earth this may be nothing more than weird or annoying but you can imagine what ruckus this constant false alarm must cause in heaven. Well, not a ruckus as such but real confusion for sure. Oh my God is something delicate, a trigger phrase, a phrase that prompts action on the part of God. God is a very busy deity, he has to attend to so many matters at the same time and losing even one second comes with severe consequences like: people getting hurt, dying, missing opportunities, losing faith, losing way, stealing, lying, cursing… so many unwanted consequences. Such being the case, it is important that no time is lost; otherwise the world might damn sure go out of balance.

Now, enters my friend with his nonstop “oh my God”. On any given day, God has to prevent a lot of bad things from happening and he has to ensure a lot of goodness comes to life. Being unbiased, God attends to every single person’s request with equal enthusiasm and without delay. This friend of mine going about screaming oh my God all the time, must be use up a lot of God’s attention, hmm…all for nothing.

Possibly as a kid the dude would scream “oh my God” all the time and every single time God would look forward to showering his love on the poor creature and fixing the matter, be it what it may, but… he  would always strike a disappointment. No doubt he kept it up as he grew older and God kept his love and grace all the way, love and grace he has kept to this day. The thing is, forsaking the dude even once may come with any or all the consequence mentioned earlier, possibly even more. With the dude screaming “oh my God” all the time, there is no telling when he is doing it for a serious reason and when he is doing it merely for pass time and so all his screams must be attended to without fail, hmm… every single God damned time. The all thing must have God going back and forth all the time but to no avail. It must be powerful infuriating I reckon. If it were me I would have learned to ignore the dude by now, but luckily God’s love endures.


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